November 29, 2024
The holidays are a time for family, celebration, and togetherness, but for families with a loved one in memory care, the question often arises: Should we bring them home for the holidays? This decision can be complex and deeply personal, as every individual in memory care has unique needs, preferences, and abilities.
To make the best choice for your loved one, it’s important to consider their well-being and routines while also consulting with the memory care director before making a decision.
Consult with the Memory Care Director First
The best first step is to have a conversation with the memory care director or team at your loved one’s community. Memory care communities provide person-centered care, meaning their staff knows your loved one’s needs, behaviors, and routines better than most. They can offer invaluable guidance based on their experiences, as well as insights into how your loved one might respond to a change in environment or routine. Additionally, our Varietas® employees and managers receive Certified Dementia Practitioner (CDP) certification, which is the highest standard in Alzheimer’s and Dementia education. That means our experienced team is going to be able to help you make the right decision about celebrating the holidays with your loved one.
Smaller Gatherings May Be Better
Large, bustling gatherings can be overstimulating and overwhelming for many memory care residents. Faces they don’t recognize, noisy environments and unfamiliar settings can lead to confusion or distress. Instead of taking them out of their comfortable community, consider hosting a smaller holiday gathering within the community they live. Contact the Executive Director of your community for details on securing a time and space for your celebration. We understand that environment is a crucial part of allowing your loved one to thrive. They may feel more comfortable in an environment they are already familiar with.
Most senior living communities, including Traditions communities, offer private dining rooms or shared spaces that can be reserved for family events. This allows you to celebrate together in a familiar, controlled environment that minimizes stress and keeps your loved one at ease.
The Importance of Routine
Routine is critical for individuals in memory care. Familiar surroundings and predictable schedules provide a sense of stability and comfort. Taking your loved one out of their established routine, even temporarily, can disrupt this delicate balance and lead to feelings of unease or disorientation. For many residents, the memory care community has truly become their home—a place where they feel safe and supported.
Learn from Others’ Experiences
Families who have taken their loved ones out of memory care for the holidays often report challenges. Loved ones may express confusion or repeatedly say, “I want to go home,” even if they are surrounded by family. This can be a sign that they feel unsettled and are longing for the comfort and familiarity of their memory care routine.
Listening to these stories can help you weigh the potential emotional and physical toll of removing your loved one from their environment.
Watch for Nonverbal Cues
If you do decide to take your loved one out for a holiday gathering, it’s important to remain attentive to their nonverbal cues. Memory care residents may have difficulty expressing their needs verbally but will often show signs of discomfort through body language.
Watch for indicators such as:
• Restlessness or pacing
• Unease or grimacing facial expressions
• Fidgeting or repetitive motions
These behaviors could suggest that they are tired, hungry, in pain, or experiencing overstimulation. Responding promptly to these cues—by offering a quiet space, addressing basic needs, or gently returning them to the community—can help mitigate discomfort.
The Holidays Are About Connection, Not Location
Remember that the spirit of the holidays is about spending time with your loved ones, quality engagement, and creating joyful moments—no matter where they take place. By celebrating in a way that prioritizes your loved one’s comfort and well-being, you can make the holidays meaningful for everyone involved.
Whether it’s sharing a meal in a private dining room within the community, singing carols, or simply sitting together in a familiar space, these small, thoughtful gestures can create cherished memories while ensuring your loved one feels supported and at ease.
If you’re unsure about what’s best for your loved one, don’t hesitate to reach out to the memory care team for guidance. Their expertise and person-centered approach can help you craft a holiday plan that works for everyone. After all, the goal is to celebrate with dignity, compassion, and care.
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